I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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