So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
