so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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