how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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