I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
