From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
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