I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize