She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Randomize