At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
this hospital has no fireball
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
