Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
