dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
