Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Just pee around me
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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