I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
My vagina is officially offended.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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