dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
