Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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