he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
