so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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