it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
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