My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
