Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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