"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
