she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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