Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Say something about gay babies.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
