Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
