So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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