There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
It's Friday. Sex?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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