Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
