There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize