We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I just gargled with NyQuil
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
