Im at strip club and am horny
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
