You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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