you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize