he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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