Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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