The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
