No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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