I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I'm both gender and math confused
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