I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Found your dick twin last night
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
