You smell like a Billy Joel song
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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