the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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