I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
