but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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