i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
