Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
is that a dick in a sweater?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
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