Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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