But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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