i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
