I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
