Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
