Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
