There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
