Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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