hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
