Your tits are I can't wait for
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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