Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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