...so i touched it.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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