We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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