I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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