I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I don't want my vagina anymore.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize