I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
