I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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